My very good friend's mother passed away last Thursday and this evening I took my boys to the memorial service (hubby had to work late again). Before I went, I came home and let the dogs out and visited my garden to collect some flowers for an arrangement. My Black Eyed Susans are probably the brightest and happiest flowers blooming right now, so I started there first, then I cut some fresh chocolate mint and Russian Sage and finished up with purple Rose of Sharon and Butterfly Bush flowers. I filled a cobalt blue vase with the flowers and then set on my way to pick up the boys. The vase only spilled over once on the ride to the daycare, after that I took corners more carefully! I made it to the daycare about 5 minutes before 6pm (late as usual!) and then we headed across town to the funeral home.
I should have known that my lecture about being quiet and respectful and not running around would fall upon deaf ears. Almost immediately after we arrived, the boys met up with a friend and started their typical antics of running around and hollering. I tried to quiet them and get them to sit quietly, but that was a wasted effort. I was trying my best to comfort my friend while policing the crazies. Needless to say, it just wasn't working. I took them outside for some quiet time, but it didn't work either. During the service, my youngest decided that taking off his shoes, refusing to sit and squealing would be a good plan. So I, put my hand over his mouth and escaped to the kitchen with him, red face and all. By the time I got him to be quiet it was over and I had just enough time to go through the line to give my respects to the family. After we did that, I hightailed it out of there.
The kids drove me beyond my limit of patience and by the time we got to the car I was furious with them for not behaving themselves. I took them straight home, fed them and sent them to bed. Luckily, my husband so kindly made me eggs and bacon for dinner while I unwound from the trauma of the evening.
Now that it is quiet (other than my dogs wrestling at my feet) and I have had a chance to digest everything, I wonder: are my kids insane? am I a bad parent? do I have too short of a fuse? what did I do wrong?
One thing I know for sure it that a 3 and 6 year old are hard to keep quiet regardless of where they are and don't really understand when and where it is appropriate to play. Perhaps I should have prepared better with quiet toys or books or even snacks. Or maybe I shouldn't have even have gone? No, I am glad that I went even if my nerves were raw at the end. I know that I am disappointed in myself for getting so upset with the boys and wonder what I can do the next time we have to attend a serious even to have a better outcome for all of us.
In the meantime, I am emotionally and physically drained and need to get some rest.
