I have been looking for a definitive sign to determine in which direction to go. Yesterday, I was struggling with what to do regarding the house and I found the sign. I logged into our bank and realized that after the last property tax check cleared that our balance has gotten dangerously low compared to what it once was. I realized at that moment that it would be incredibly irresponsible to buy the house. I contacted my real estate agent and let her know that we would like to terminate the contract on the house. While this was hard to do since we have spent the past several months preparing to sell this house and buy the other house, I had to come to terms with the fact that I need to take a hard look at our finances. I need to go back to "squirrel mode" and cut unnecessary expenses and begin to build our savings again.
You might wonder why this is such a big surprise to me... however, it's not like we have made any big purchase lately or have been frivolously spending money. In fact, other than one car payment and a mortgage, I have no debt. We spent four years living on one income and I had made many cuts in our lifestyle in order to get by, I guess once we had a dual income, I felt like I could afford luxuries I had denied myself for so long. Simple things like increasing our grocery budget, going out to dinner or lunch on weekends.
Now, I am motivated to get our finances back in shape. I don't feel like the past several months have been a waste of time or energy; there have been positive results. One, many of the improvements that have been on our To-Do list for the house have been completed after five years. On the other hand, this financial reality check is a side effect that I can't help but to believe is a positive effect. It is time to be more lean, to save and not to waste, to plan, and to make good choices.
Even though I am angry with myself for not realizing sooner that we haven't been making wise choices, I am glad to have figured out that trading this house for a much bigger house and much bigger expenses would be irresponsible at this point in time.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
To Move or Not to Move?
Last night I got a text message from my real estate agent saying that the house we have been trying to buy for the past 5 months has dropped their price another $15,000 this is after they already dropped it $10,000. So, overall they have dropped the price $25,000 below the price we are under contract for. Obviously, they are seriously motivated to sell the house, but now I am torn. I had pretty much decided that it was not meant to be and that the fact that our house wasn't getting interest is because we are we were supposed to stay right where we are. I can't deny that I am still in love with the house, as it is a beautiful house with a fantastic view of the river. However, over the past several months I have pondered the pros and cons of it and seemed to have lost my rose colored glasses about the place. For one, we would have to spend about $30,000 right off the bat to build a garage for James' cars. Second, it is a huge place and probably would be a killer to heat in the winter. Third, my commute to work would go from 5 minutes to about 35! Fourth, there is not a fenced area for dogs and the street is significantly busier than the one we live on now. My crazy beagle can figure out how to escape from almost any enclosure. Fifth, we have finally made friends with the neighbors and I am feeling a bigger connection to this neighborhood and community than I have since we moved here. Also, my oldest son seems to be doing well at school and I don't really want to disrupt his life too much.
Okay, while that sounds like there are tons of cons, I do have some pros. First, I have always wanted a historic home with character. This house has the original hardwood floors, details and is full of character. Second, it has so much space that we would not feel like we are bursting at the seems any longer. Third, while my commute gets longer, James' actually gets shorter. Fourth, the river view is just fantastic, and the yard is much smaller than what I have now, so less to mow and maintain! Fifth, the basement is perfectly suited for my husband's military collection and would offer him all the space he could ever want!
So, now I am trying to figure out what to do... do we lower the price on our house and get motivated again to sell? Or, do we just sit tight and ride out the rest of our contract and stay put? Obviously, this is going to take some thought, but now that the price on the house is considerably less it's hard to pass up!
Okay, while that sounds like there are tons of cons, I do have some pros. First, I have always wanted a historic home with character. This house has the original hardwood floors, details and is full of character. Second, it has so much space that we would not feel like we are bursting at the seems any longer. Third, while my commute gets longer, James' actually gets shorter. Fourth, the river view is just fantastic, and the yard is much smaller than what I have now, so less to mow and maintain! Fifth, the basement is perfectly suited for my husband's military collection and would offer him all the space he could ever want!
So, now I am trying to figure out what to do... do we lower the price on our house and get motivated again to sell? Or, do we just sit tight and ride out the rest of our contract and stay put? Obviously, this is going to take some thought, but now that the price on the house is considerably less it's hard to pass up!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Family Camping Trip
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| Silly Ben |
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| Dinner Time! |
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| Miss Lily |
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| Copper |
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| My boys |
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| Is it time for S'mores? |
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| Playing video games |
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| I wanna run! |
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| SMILE! |
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| We made it to the top! |
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| Beautiful View! |
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| Just the Boys |
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| Me and Hubby |
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| Ben's Picture |
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| William's Picture |
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| Wild Flowers |
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| Hiking |
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| I DO NOT LIKE TO HIKE! |
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| Where are we? |
Friday, August 26, 2011
100 Things About Me.
100 Things About Me
1. I am a mother of two.
2. I am a perfectionist, and a chaotic mess all wrapped into one crazy package.
3. I was born in California.
4. I was made fun of a a child for having bad skin.
5. I applied to 7 Universities and got into 5.
6. I have had 5 cars.
7. I hate doing laundry.
8. I love to drive along the pacific coat highway.
9. I don't like to wear makeup.
10. I would rather wear pajamas than anything else.
11. My ancestors are french royalty.
12. I wouldn't watch tv if it weren't for DVR.
13. Trueblood is one of my favorite shows.
14. I only got one C in all of highschool and college.
15. Riesling is my favorite wine.
16. I hate diets.
17. I love thrift stores.
18. I got botox at 27.
19. I don't like to ask for help.
20. I have a love/hate relationship with yard work.
21. I am an interior designer not a decorator!!!
22. My children drive me nuts.
23. I have an fantastic "rain man" like memory.
25. I am hungry all the time!
26. I tend to start projects and have a hard time finishing them.
27. I dream of traveling to Paris someday.
28. I have 13 animals.
29. I have only been stung by a bee one time.
30. I have never broken a bone.
31. I haven't slept in in 6 years.
32. I love chocolate.
33. I have excellent credit.
34. My mother died when I has 13.
35. I love to dance.
36. I love to write or receive letters.
37. I am a clutter magnet and it drives me crazy.
38. I have never been to New York.
39. My favorite place is Coronado Island.
40. I have had 7 jobs in my life.
41. I like dogs better than cats.
42. I love a bargain.
43. I own a 1960 VW Karmann Ghia.
44. I love my library card.
45. I can't get by in the morning without coffee.
46. I have good metabolism, but still have to watch my weight.
47. I am an avid recycler.
48. I cannot drink tap water without lemon.
49. I am not a good liar.
50. I do not like canned peas.
51. I love bread and cheese.
52. I have a strong respect for history.
53. I am a Marine Wife.
54. I am the first in my family to attain a college degree.
55. I love stars.
56. I collect cobalt glass.
57. I can't have house plants because my cat will eat them.
58. I am almost always late.
59. Once you get me started, don't let me stop until I am done.
60. I am a Daddy's girl.
61. I know what it is like to live on public assistance.
62. I have been married for 8 years.
63. I don't smoke.
64. I hope to live longer than my mother did.
65. I don't mind getting dirty, but like to be clean.
66. I don't like to floss.
67. I have been to Japan.
68. If I don't get into a book within the first chapter I can't read it.
69. I have driven 14 hours to be with the one I love.
70. I love iced tea with lemon, no sweetener.
71. I am an antique junkie.
72. I tend to think I am right.
73. Sometimes I laugh so hard I can't stop.
74. I love to laugh.
75. I miss my family.
76. The Eiffel tower and Fleur de Lis are my self adopted emblems.
77. If it is out of sight, it is out of my mind.
78. I am a list maker.
79. If I set my mind to something, I can do it.
80. I still have my favorite childhood stuffed animal.
81. My favorite color is green.
82. I love the concept of summer and winter, but not the heat or the cold.
83. The Midwest is my home.
84. I love pillows and blankets.
85. I missed my 10 year high school reunion and am starting to regret it.
86. I can't have cash in my wallet.
87. I can't sew a straight line.
88. I can clean like no other, but hate to do it.
89. I am a procrastinator.
90. I enjoy nature, but hate bugs.
91. I make up my own words.
92. My husband thinks my words are silly.
93. Everyday is an adventure at my house.
94. I like to walk.
95. I bite my nails.
96. I love flowers.
97. My style is casual, comfortable and casual.
98. I have expensive taste.
99. I like to get my way.
100. I like to be organized.
1. I am a mother of two.
2. I am a perfectionist, and a chaotic mess all wrapped into one crazy package.
3. I was born in California.
4. I was made fun of a a child for having bad skin.
5. I applied to 7 Universities and got into 5.
6. I have had 5 cars.
7. I hate doing laundry.
8. I love to drive along the pacific coat highway.
9. I don't like to wear makeup.
10. I would rather wear pajamas than anything else.
11. My ancestors are french royalty.
12. I wouldn't watch tv if it weren't for DVR.
13. Trueblood is one of my favorite shows.
14. I only got one C in all of highschool and college.
15. Riesling is my favorite wine.
16. I hate diets.
17. I love thrift stores.
18. I got botox at 27.
19. I don't like to ask for help.
20. I have a love/hate relationship with yard work.
21. I am an interior designer not a decorator!!!
22. My children drive me nuts.
23. I have an fantastic "rain man" like memory.
25. I am hungry all the time!
26. I tend to start projects and have a hard time finishing them.
27. I dream of traveling to Paris someday.
28. I have 13 animals.
29. I have only been stung by a bee one time.
30. I have never broken a bone.
31. I haven't slept in in 6 years.
32. I love chocolate.
33. I have excellent credit.
34. My mother died when I has 13.
35. I love to dance.
36. I love to write or receive letters.
37. I am a clutter magnet and it drives me crazy.
38. I have never been to New York.
39. My favorite place is Coronado Island.
40. I have had 7 jobs in my life.
41. I like dogs better than cats.
42. I love a bargain.
43. I own a 1960 VW Karmann Ghia.
44. I love my library card.
45. I can't get by in the morning without coffee.
46. I have good metabolism, but still have to watch my weight.
47. I am an avid recycler.
48. I cannot drink tap water without lemon.
49. I am not a good liar.
50. I do not like canned peas.
51. I love bread and cheese.
52. I have a strong respect for history.
53. I am a Marine Wife.
54. I am the first in my family to attain a college degree.
55. I love stars.
56. I collect cobalt glass.
57. I can't have house plants because my cat will eat them.
58. I am almost always late.
59. Once you get me started, don't let me stop until I am done.
60. I am a Daddy's girl.
61. I know what it is like to live on public assistance.
62. I have been married for 8 years.
63. I don't smoke.
64. I hope to live longer than my mother did.
65. I don't mind getting dirty, but like to be clean.
66. I don't like to floss.
67. I have been to Japan.
68. If I don't get into a book within the first chapter I can't read it.
69. I have driven 14 hours to be with the one I love.
70. I love iced tea with lemon, no sweetener.
71. I am an antique junkie.
72. I tend to think I am right.
73. Sometimes I laugh so hard I can't stop.
74. I love to laugh.
75. I miss my family.
76. The Eiffel tower and Fleur de Lis are my self adopted emblems.
77. If it is out of sight, it is out of my mind.
78. I am a list maker.
79. If I set my mind to something, I can do it.
80. I still have my favorite childhood stuffed animal.
81. My favorite color is green.
82. I love the concept of summer and winter, but not the heat or the cold.
83. The Midwest is my home.
84. I love pillows and blankets.
85. I missed my 10 year high school reunion and am starting to regret it.
86. I can't have cash in my wallet.
87. I can't sew a straight line.
88. I can clean like no other, but hate to do it.
89. I am a procrastinator.
90. I enjoy nature, but hate bugs.
91. I make up my own words.
92. My husband thinks my words are silly.
93. Everyday is an adventure at my house.
94. I like to walk.
95. I bite my nails.
96. I love flowers.
97. My style is casual, comfortable and casual.
98. I have expensive taste.
99. I like to get my way.
100. I like to be organized.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Productivity (or lack thereof)
Productivity (or lack thereof) is often a topic that I blog about. I suppose it stems from my personality type; I am either an overachiever or I totally slack off, there really is no in between with me. Perhaps it is because my mother always told me, "don't do things half assed!!" So, I don't which means, if I don't do my best, I don't do it at all. That makes my life difficult because I am always running on all cylinders (busy, busy, busy!), so when things do slow down (ie: the kids go to bed) all I want to do is read a book, watch a show or go to sleep. To tell you the truth, the last thing I want to do is wash dishes or clothes or pick up messes. So, that is generally how things go for me. I let things get out of control until the point which I can't stand it any longer and then go on a mad cleaning spree. My husband has figured out that it's best to leave me alone during one of these fits because I am probably muttering obscenities to myself and do not want to be bothered. ha ha. Maybe, if I just kept things under control, I wouldn't have this problem. However, that is easier said than done.
This weekend I went into the office for about 6 hours while the boys were out doing"guy stuff" and then when I got home I took my oldest son with me over to a friend's house to help out with some cleaning. While I was there I was a superstar bathroom cleaner and vacuumed the whole house twice. I was pretty exhausted from that exertion, but still we managed to go to a car show and out to dinner that night. Pretty much nothing happened at my house that day. Sunday was a different story, I got several loads of laundry done (however, much of it is still awaiting folding), cleaned out my closet, gave the boys and hubby haircuts, went grocery shopping, made dinner, and got ready for the school week. All in all it was a pretty productive day, I even managed to get my nails done :) Yes, there are baskets full of clean clothes that either need put away or folded and yeah, my counter could probably use some attention, but I feel good about the balance of activities this weekend.
Anyhow, while I still haven't found the key to success, I'm at least realistic about getting things done. That's all I can do.
This weekend I went into the office for about 6 hours while the boys were out doing"guy stuff" and then when I got home I took my oldest son with me over to a friend's house to help out with some cleaning. While I was there I was a superstar bathroom cleaner and vacuumed the whole house twice. I was pretty exhausted from that exertion, but still we managed to go to a car show and out to dinner that night. Pretty much nothing happened at my house that day. Sunday was a different story, I got several loads of laundry done (however, much of it is still awaiting folding), cleaned out my closet, gave the boys and hubby haircuts, went grocery shopping, made dinner, and got ready for the school week. All in all it was a pretty productive day, I even managed to get my nails done :) Yes, there are baskets full of clean clothes that either need put away or folded and yeah, my counter could probably use some attention, but I feel good about the balance of activities this weekend.
Anyhow, while I still haven't found the key to success, I'm at least realistic about getting things done. That's all I can do.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Missed My 10 Year Reunion
So, last night was my 10 year high school reunion, and I missed it. Much to my surprise, I do not regret my decision to stay home (and by stay home, I mean stay 1800 miles away in Illinois). The event was held at the W Hotel in Hollywood, which is, from what I hear, a fabulously posh venue. I am sure it was a great time and while I do wish I would have gotten to see some of the people I have missed over the past 10 years, I guess I feel like I would have been like a square peg in a round hole there.
WHY you ask? Well, to start, I wasn't what you would call popular in high school, I didn't belong to any clubs or school organizations, I didn't go to school dances (except prom), hell, I didn't even date anyone until senior year and he was 21 and in the Navy. My group of friends was great, don't get me wrong, but we were proud to be unique, independent and did things our own way. Facebook has allowed me to get in touch (or stay in touch) with friends from high school, so even out here in the Midwest I don't feel all that out of touch to tell you the truth. Another major reason I feel like I would have been out of place there is because my life is so much different than most of the people I went to school with. I got married when I was 19 between my sophomore and junior year in college, had my first child during my senior year, upon graduation I was a stay at home mom for about 6 months before we moved from San Diego to the Midwest. Five years after leaving California, I have put down roots here and feel strongly that I fit here more than I ever did in California. Sure, I miss the sunshine on those snowy winter days and miss the ocean breezes on those hot, humid summer days. But all in all, my life is complete here. I have two beautiful boys, a wonderful husband, great friends, a lovely home and a good job! My commute to work is 5 minutes, with all of 4 stop lights, through corn and bean fields! No traffic or no road rage for me! My boys have 2 acres of land to play on and our property backs up to a wheat field and the woods. Sure, this place is really too much for two working parents to take care of, but I really enjoy toiling in the garden and getting dirty. If we still lived in California, we would live in an apartment half this size and have a 5 x 8 patio and obnoxious neighbors. I wouldn't know how it feels when the first bulbs start to poke up through the cold ground in the spring and how nice it is after a hot summer when the days cool down and the trees begin to change. I certainly do not take for granted those perfect days when the weather is perfect here, because the weather is so dynamic here it might snow the next day.
Looking back at my life when I was 15 or 16, I can clearly remember myself saying that I would never have kids. At that point, I probably would have laughed hysterically if someone were to tell me that in 12 years I would be a mother of two and living in the Midwest. One thing I have come to realize in my life is that things change, you never know what life is going to deal out, but for all the craziness everything always seems to work out the way it is supposed to. I feel blessed to be where I am at right now, I hope for a bright future for our family.
So, to complete my thought on the reunion... The real reason I chose not to go was because my son started 1st grade 2 days before the reunion and I couldn't justify taking him out of school or paying the money for such a short trip. Had there been different circumstances, I might have actually gone. Who knows where I will be when the 20 year comes around? Only time will tell. Anyhow, I hope everyone had a good time and got home safe and sound.
WHY you ask? Well, to start, I wasn't what you would call popular in high school, I didn't belong to any clubs or school organizations, I didn't go to school dances (except prom), hell, I didn't even date anyone until senior year and he was 21 and in the Navy. My group of friends was great, don't get me wrong, but we were proud to be unique, independent and did things our own way. Facebook has allowed me to get in touch (or stay in touch) with friends from high school, so even out here in the Midwest I don't feel all that out of touch to tell you the truth. Another major reason I feel like I would have been out of place there is because my life is so much different than most of the people I went to school with. I got married when I was 19 between my sophomore and junior year in college, had my first child during my senior year, upon graduation I was a stay at home mom for about 6 months before we moved from San Diego to the Midwest. Five years after leaving California, I have put down roots here and feel strongly that I fit here more than I ever did in California. Sure, I miss the sunshine on those snowy winter days and miss the ocean breezes on those hot, humid summer days. But all in all, my life is complete here. I have two beautiful boys, a wonderful husband, great friends, a lovely home and a good job! My commute to work is 5 minutes, with all of 4 stop lights, through corn and bean fields! No traffic or no road rage for me! My boys have 2 acres of land to play on and our property backs up to a wheat field and the woods. Sure, this place is really too much for two working parents to take care of, but I really enjoy toiling in the garden and getting dirty. If we still lived in California, we would live in an apartment half this size and have a 5 x 8 patio and obnoxious neighbors. I wouldn't know how it feels when the first bulbs start to poke up through the cold ground in the spring and how nice it is after a hot summer when the days cool down and the trees begin to change. I certainly do not take for granted those perfect days when the weather is perfect here, because the weather is so dynamic here it might snow the next day.
Looking back at my life when I was 15 or 16, I can clearly remember myself saying that I would never have kids. At that point, I probably would have laughed hysterically if someone were to tell me that in 12 years I would be a mother of two and living in the Midwest. One thing I have come to realize in my life is that things change, you never know what life is going to deal out, but for all the craziness everything always seems to work out the way it is supposed to. I feel blessed to be where I am at right now, I hope for a bright future for our family.
So, to complete my thought on the reunion... The real reason I chose not to go was because my son started 1st grade 2 days before the reunion and I couldn't justify taking him out of school or paying the money for such a short trip. Had there been different circumstances, I might have actually gone. Who knows where I will be when the 20 year comes around? Only time will tell. Anyhow, I hope everyone had a good time and got home safe and sound.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Five Years Later and We Meet the Neighbors!?
What I want to know is how you can live across the street from someone for five years and never become at least acquaintances?! A few weeks ago, I pulled out of the driveway to take the kids to daycare and noticed that the neighbor across the street pulled out just behind me. What I did not notice is that she was behind me all the way to the daycare. We pulled into adjacent parking spots and started to get our kids out of the car when I hear, "oh my goodness, Ben lives across the street!!" Evidently, our kids haven been in the same class for the past year together and we never even realized it. As it turns out, our kids are very close in age! Mine are 6 and 3 and hers are 5 and 3! I couldn't believe it; we were both embarrassed that we have lived literally across the street from one another for five whole years and never even met!!!
So, yesterday evening when we got home from daycare, I took the kids over to say hello and it turned into an impromptu play date! The kids took to each other very well and we had to practically peel them apart when the sun was going down and the mosquitoes were biting! It was almost 9pm by the time we got inside for the evening, and we hadn't even ate dinner yet! (oops!) So, I made chicken nuggets and cut up fresh peaches and strawberries.
First thing this morning, I keep getting asked when we are going back over to play! The kids don't quite understand that most people aren't up at the crack of dawn and most certainly don't enjoy visitors at that hour! haha But, we do have plans to play and perhaps swim this weekend if the weather holds out!
We live in this house for five years and then put it up for sale and then finally meet the neighbors; it seems a bit backwards. Perhaps this is another sign that we aren't meant to move at this time?! It's not in my hands anyhow, so we will just hold tight and see what happens. In the meantime, I am glad to finally feel more connected--so what if it's a little more than late!!!
So, yesterday evening when we got home from daycare, I took the kids over to say hello and it turned into an impromptu play date! The kids took to each other very well and we had to practically peel them apart when the sun was going down and the mosquitoes were biting! It was almost 9pm by the time we got inside for the evening, and we hadn't even ate dinner yet! (oops!) So, I made chicken nuggets and cut up fresh peaches and strawberries.
First thing this morning, I keep getting asked when we are going back over to play! The kids don't quite understand that most people aren't up at the crack of dawn and most certainly don't enjoy visitors at that hour! haha But, we do have plans to play and perhaps swim this weekend if the weather holds out!
We live in this house for five years and then put it up for sale and then finally meet the neighbors; it seems a bit backwards. Perhaps this is another sign that we aren't meant to move at this time?! It's not in my hands anyhow, so we will just hold tight and see what happens. In the meantime, I am glad to finally feel more connected--so what if it's a little more than late!!!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Saving my Abandoned Garden
Volunteer Tomatoes
My Rain Barrel
My Abandoned Garden
Piles of Weeds!
It's FINALLY Compost!
Compost & Tomatoes!
Yep, those are nylons! (Great for tying up veggies!)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Preparing for a family visit
My dad is coming to visit tomorrow and I haven't seen him in nearly a year! (Can't believe that!) I am so excited to see him, but can't help, but to get a little stressed about being a hostess. Theoretically, my house should be in order because I have it on the market, but the reality of it is that my counter is a mess and like always there is a mountain of laundry to do! In addition to the general clutter, there is the constant battle with the dogs and their incessant need to find things and shred them into a million little unrecognizable pieces. Copper, our beagle, has decided that it would be cool to shred his dog bed while in his kennel... so there are fluffs of polyester filling scattered about randomly. Whenever I get them all cleaned up, somehow more appear?! Lily, our Chihuahua, loves to find tissues, dryer sheets, paper towels, silly bands, little-green-army-men, legos, etc. and hide under the sofa and make a lovely mess. You may say, just keep those things off the floor, right? Well, unfortunately, I am not the source of the problem, it's my two boys, who don't seem to understand that whatever is left on the floor or even on the sofa for that matter is fair game for the dogs to destroy. We have already performed several emergency surgeries on dismembered stuffed animals, but that still hasn't taught them a lesson. Well, I can't say that I haven't fallen victim to the dogs, because I found countless pairs of undergarmets that have been destroyed... although, I am pretty sure that the dogs must be getting into the laundry basket, because I NEVER leave things on the floor (ha ha).
Anyhow, I am not sure what to do this weekend with family in town. It is the middle of July in the Midwest, so naturally it is terribly hot, which makes most outdoor activities pretty miserable. I know I don't really have to have a itinerary for their visit, but I wish I had an idea of what we could do... maybe take the kids to the water park? I'm not sure my dad would enjoy that too much... there is always the local kid friendly museums... well, we will have to see. In the meantime, I should probably, finish up my futile attempt to get the house presentable.
Anyhow, I am not sure what to do this weekend with family in town. It is the middle of July in the Midwest, so naturally it is terribly hot, which makes most outdoor activities pretty miserable. I know I don't really have to have a itinerary for their visit, but I wish I had an idea of what we could do... maybe take the kids to the water park? I'm not sure my dad would enjoy that too much... there is always the local kid friendly museums... well, we will have to see. In the meantime, I should probably, finish up my futile attempt to get the house presentable.
Monday, July 18, 2011
A sad, frustrating day
My very good friend's mother passed away last Thursday and this evening I took my boys to the memorial service (hubby had to work late again). Before I went, I came home and let the dogs out and visited my garden to collect some flowers for an arrangement. My Black Eyed Susans are probably the brightest and happiest flowers blooming right now, so I started there first, then I cut some fresh chocolate mint and Russian Sage and finished up with purple Rose of Sharon and Butterfly Bush flowers. I filled a cobalt blue vase with the flowers and then set on my way to pick up the boys. The vase only spilled over once on the ride to the daycare, after that I took corners more carefully! I made it to the daycare about 5 minutes before 6pm (late as usual!) and then we headed across town to the funeral home.
I should have known that my lecture about being quiet and respectful and not running around would fall upon deaf ears. Almost immediately after we arrived, the boys met up with a friend and started their typical antics of running around and hollering. I tried to quiet them and get them to sit quietly, but that was a wasted effort. I was trying my best to comfort my friend while policing the crazies. Needless to say, it just wasn't working. I took them outside for some quiet time, but it didn't work either. During the service, my youngest decided that taking off his shoes, refusing to sit and squealing would be a good plan. So I, put my hand over his mouth and escaped to the kitchen with him, red face and all. By the time I got him to be quiet it was over and I had just enough time to go through the line to give my respects to the family. After we did that, I hightailed it out of there.
The kids drove me beyond my limit of patience and by the time we got to the car I was furious with them for not behaving themselves. I took them straight home, fed them and sent them to bed. Luckily, my husband so kindly made me eggs and bacon for dinner while I unwound from the trauma of the evening.
Now that it is quiet (other than my dogs wrestling at my feet) and I have had a chance to digest everything, I wonder: are my kids insane? am I a bad parent? do I have too short of a fuse? what did I do wrong?
One thing I know for sure it that a 3 and 6 year old are hard to keep quiet regardless of where they are and don't really understand when and where it is appropriate to play. Perhaps I should have prepared better with quiet toys or books or even snacks. Or maybe I shouldn't have even have gone? No, I am glad that I went even if my nerves were raw at the end. I know that I am disappointed in myself for getting so upset with the boys and wonder what I can do the next time we have to attend a serious even to have a better outcome for all of us.
In the meantime, I am emotionally and physically drained and need to get some rest.
I should have known that my lecture about being quiet and respectful and not running around would fall upon deaf ears. Almost immediately after we arrived, the boys met up with a friend and started their typical antics of running around and hollering. I tried to quiet them and get them to sit quietly, but that was a wasted effort. I was trying my best to comfort my friend while policing the crazies. Needless to say, it just wasn't working. I took them outside for some quiet time, but it didn't work either. During the service, my youngest decided that taking off his shoes, refusing to sit and squealing would be a good plan. So I, put my hand over his mouth and escaped to the kitchen with him, red face and all. By the time I got him to be quiet it was over and I had just enough time to go through the line to give my respects to the family. After we did that, I hightailed it out of there.
The kids drove me beyond my limit of patience and by the time we got to the car I was furious with them for not behaving themselves. I took them straight home, fed them and sent them to bed. Luckily, my husband so kindly made me eggs and bacon for dinner while I unwound from the trauma of the evening.
Now that it is quiet (other than my dogs wrestling at my feet) and I have had a chance to digest everything, I wonder: are my kids insane? am I a bad parent? do I have too short of a fuse? what did I do wrong?
One thing I know for sure it that a 3 and 6 year old are hard to keep quiet regardless of where they are and don't really understand when and where it is appropriate to play. Perhaps I should have prepared better with quiet toys or books or even snacks. Or maybe I shouldn't have even have gone? No, I am glad that I went even if my nerves were raw at the end. I know that I am disappointed in myself for getting so upset with the boys and wonder what I can do the next time we have to attend a serious even to have a better outcome for all of us.
In the meantime, I am emotionally and physically drained and need to get some rest.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Letting go and staying positive
The past several months have past so quickly... I can't believe July is already half over!!! Next month, my oldest son will start first grade! Our family has been so busy lately, it is nice to have a weekend with NO PLANS! The only thing, I know I need to do is: laundry, yard work, & grocery shopping (the ususal).
Besides spending the past several months trying to buy our dream house and sell this house, both my husband and I have been working like crazy! Last night he didn't get home until after 8pm, and although it is hard sometimes to have to bear so much responsibility, I feel blessed that we both have jobs.
Trying to sell this house has given me a realistic perspective on this economy. I have been relatively sheltered from it. Sure, when things got bad, my salary suffered, but I haven't been laid off throughout the whole thing. And when my husband graduated from college he had already had a job. Blessed is the only word I can really come up with to express how I feel about our life.
Even though I am frustrated that our house which we have put so much time, energy and money into doesn't seem to want to sell, I am reminded about a fundamental belief that I have: All things happen for a reason. Throughout all the difficult times in my life, I have struggled with control and wanted things to go my way, without realizing that in the end everything would be okay regardless of what I wanted to happen. With the clarity of hindsight, when I look back on things that I have wanted so badly but didn't get, I am reminded that everything has always worked out for the best. So, this is my struggle, I am stuck in limbo; I would love to have the beautiful old house overlooking the Mississippi River, but what if it is just not meant to be? While it is more than difficult for me to give up control and just let things be how they are going to be, I know that is what I have to do. In the meantime, I ask for prayers that we will have closure on this soon, because the longer this goes on, my patience and my ability to keep positive wains.
Besides spending the past several months trying to buy our dream house and sell this house, both my husband and I have been working like crazy! Last night he didn't get home until after 8pm, and although it is hard sometimes to have to bear so much responsibility, I feel blessed that we both have jobs.
Trying to sell this house has given me a realistic perspective on this economy. I have been relatively sheltered from it. Sure, when things got bad, my salary suffered, but I haven't been laid off throughout the whole thing. And when my husband graduated from college he had already had a job. Blessed is the only word I can really come up with to express how I feel about our life.
Even though I am frustrated that our house which we have put so much time, energy and money into doesn't seem to want to sell, I am reminded about a fundamental belief that I have: All things happen for a reason. Throughout all the difficult times in my life, I have struggled with control and wanted things to go my way, without realizing that in the end everything would be okay regardless of what I wanted to happen. With the clarity of hindsight, when I look back on things that I have wanted so badly but didn't get, I am reminded that everything has always worked out for the best. So, this is my struggle, I am stuck in limbo; I would love to have the beautiful old house overlooking the Mississippi River, but what if it is just not meant to be? While it is more than difficult for me to give up control and just let things be how they are going to be, I know that is what I have to do. In the meantime, I ask for prayers that we will have closure on this soon, because the longer this goes on, my patience and my ability to keep positive wains.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
haven't done this in awhile, but anyhow
Up until two weeks ago I was crazy busy with studying for the LEED exam, which by the way, I PASSED! I am now a LEED AP (Accredited Professional)! :) I am very excited to be finished with that, after almost a year of procrastinating, I finally finished the process!
Well, now on to bigger and better things! (I can never not have a project and this time it's a big one!) We have an offer in on the house of our dreams and will be putting our home on the market as soon as we can get it market ready (ie: decluttered, finish up projects that have gone forgotten for almost five years, etc.)
Anyway, the house is a BEAUTIFUL historic home (built in 1855) in the heart of the Christian Hills neighborhood of Alton. I have not been able to think about much else for the past 2 weeks and have spent every moment that I am not working, sleeping, etc. doing something to research the neighborhood, school district, history of the house, mortgage stuff, prepping our house to sell, etc. We are in a full blown frenzy to get our house listed and I am exhausted! I didn't even want to blog for the fear of falling asleep at the computer, but I just had to share the news and some photos of the house!
With no further ado, here are the pics!
Well, now on to bigger and better things! (I can never not have a project and this time it's a big one!) We have an offer in on the house of our dreams and will be putting our home on the market as soon as we can get it market ready (ie: decluttered, finish up projects that have gone forgotten for almost five years, etc.)
Anyway, the house is a BEAUTIFUL historic home (built in 1855) in the heart of the Christian Hills neighborhood of Alton. I have not been able to think about much else for the past 2 weeks and have spent every moment that I am not working, sleeping, etc. doing something to research the neighborhood, school district, history of the house, mortgage stuff, prepping our house to sell, etc. We are in a full blown frenzy to get our house listed and I am exhausted! I didn't even want to blog for the fear of falling asleep at the computer, but I just had to share the news and some photos of the house!
Friday, February 11, 2011
What Valentine's Day Means to Me
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| valentine's card from our 5 year old |
Due to an extremely tight budget, last Christmas my husband and I instituted a "no gifts" rule for eachother. I really thought that I would miss getting to open gifts and watch my husband receive something special, but our Christmas was in no way lacking.
Since Valentine's Day is just around the corner, I wanted to share my thoughts on this holiday. I like chocolates just as much as anyone else (and perhaps even more), but I really don't need a specific day to receive them (any day will do just fine). Heartfelt gestures, handmade cards and other signs of affection that cannot be purchased from the store really mean the most to me and let me know that I am loved.
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| origami flower my hubby made for me |
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