I have been looking for a definitive sign to determine in which direction to go. Yesterday, I was struggling with what to do regarding the house and I found the sign. I logged into our bank and realized that after the last property tax check cleared that our balance has gotten dangerously low compared to what it once was. I realized at that moment that it would be incredibly irresponsible to buy the house. I contacted my real estate agent and let her know that we would like to terminate the contract on the house. While this was hard to do since we have spent the past several months preparing to sell this house and buy the other house, I had to come to terms with the fact that I need to take a hard look at our finances. I need to go back to "squirrel mode" and cut unnecessary expenses and begin to build our savings again.
You might wonder why this is such a big surprise to me... however, it's not like we have made any big purchase lately or have been frivolously spending money. In fact, other than one car payment and a mortgage, I have no debt. We spent four years living on one income and I had made many cuts in our lifestyle in order to get by, I guess once we had a dual income, I felt like I could afford luxuries I had denied myself for so long. Simple things like increasing our grocery budget, going out to dinner or lunch on weekends.
Now, I am motivated to get our finances back in shape. I don't feel like the past several months have been a waste of time or energy; there have been positive results. One, many of the improvements that have been on our To-Do list for the house have been completed after five years. On the other hand, this financial reality check is a side effect that I can't help but to believe is a positive effect. It is time to be more lean, to save and not to waste, to plan, and to make good choices.
Even though I am angry with myself for not realizing sooner that we haven't been making wise choices, I am glad to have figured out that trading this house for a much bigger house and much bigger expenses would be irresponsible at this point in time.
